Relationships With Money and Loved Ones

You have unique relationships with money. You have a unique relationship with each person you know. Normally these two things coexist concurrently in relative harmony. But at some point you may find yourself in a deep relationship with another person. You may decide to spend years or a lifetime together. Your relationship with money and their relationship with money may not (will not) always align. How are you going to handle money issues as a couple?

3 stats about money and loved ones

1. Couples who discuss money often are more happy in their relationship than those who rarely discuss money.
2. Money issues are reported as a top three reason for divorce.
3. Greater than 40 percent of men and women report financial matters cause them the most stress

When we first start a relationship, we may not want to share things like our income, our credit card or student loan debts, or net worth. What if the other person thinks we are too rich (yeah right), or too poor? We present what we feel is the best version of ourself. But at some point, we have two options. We put all of our cards on the table and show our hand, or we continue to keep our financial status hidden. If you aren’t wanting and willing to talk about money, what else aren’t you communicating?

Does money make you happy in a relationship? Well, money isn’t the only thing that matters but it does matter and communicating about it, or not communicating about it, can definitely impact the relationship – for better or for worse. Planing a future together often means building wealth, either in separate or joined accounts, so that you can live a life you design. Perhaps one of you doesn’t know how to get out of debt or wants to invest in real estate. If we want to support each other in the relationship, it helps to know the details and then take action.

Our relationships with money impacts our personal relationships

No matter how enthused you may be about Financial Independence, it is going to be a tougher journey if your significant other isn’t on board. From the outset, your significant other might exhibit a seemingly ridiculous amount of passion for this path and assume that you will be just as eager to sprint to the finish line with zeal and optimism. However, this is rarely the case. As with anything that requires a team effort, there are considerations that require a maturity and mutual respect to handle.

Our relationships with money are complex. This article presents a number of perspectives to help promote a healthy attitude towards helping couples to get on a similar, or at least manageable, page in order to maximize the joy of this Financial Independence journey.

Read:

• How To Get Your Spouse On Board With FI  by Shannyn Allan of choosefi.com
• Family On Fire, Do You Have Spousal Buy In?  by Doc G of diversefi.com
• Early Retirement Bliss: Getting Your Partner on Board  by Cubert of physicianonfire.com
• Retirement-Proof your Marriage  by Mike Ballew of freedompathblog.com

Listen:

• 082 | A Wife’s Perspective | Laura And Dani  by Brad Barrett and Jonathan Mendonsa of choosefi.com

Take Action:

1. Whether you are in a relationship or single, there is a someone in your life that you would like to share this journey with. Consider that person’s personality and goals and, using the information provided in this lesson, develop a plan to share your goal of Financial Independence and encourage that person to support and join you along your journey.

Additional Resources:

• Is Mr. Money Mustache Ruining Your Marriage?  by Pete Adeney of mrmoneymustache.com

Quote:

“I am a member of a team, and I rely on the team, I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the ultimate champion.” – Mia Hamm